I had surgery on my wrist three weeks ago. And, since then, I have been lying to strangers as to why I was casted - more often than not it was a ploy to keep a conversation that I knew was sullied. I settled on three scripted explanations; three stories equipped with background, character development, a climax, and even a moral lesson, as well as a presentation full of pathos, logos, and a even a little ethos.
There was the obvious story of an alcohol induced incident involving a bar stool, a martini glass, a cosmopolitan, say 45-year-old couple celebrating their anniversary, and a bad joke about Dustin Hoffman's early career - this was only semi-believable. There was the quite elaborate story where a Las Vegas goon exercised a bit of corporal punishment on my hand after I was discovered cheating in a casino - actually, this was neither elaborate nor believable; I just stole it from a scene in Casino. Then, there was the believable story, the one most refined, and the one best articulated while holding a drink in your other hand; "I injured it blogging." "Yes, blogging." "No, it wasn't carpal tunnel surgery." "It was wrist surgery from blogging."
Then I would change conversations.
The real story is that it is s related to surgery on the same wrist three years ago, which was needed to correct a reoccurring injury, which was caused by my inability to quit golfing.
Anyway; so after telling, and re-telling this story (when you are always traveling and hosting large events; you only meet strangers), I decided that rather than repent I would alleviate my transmogrified soul and resurrect the blog.
So; I apologize for my absence and my, if what should be obvious already, total disregard for the pillars of grammar and word choice going forward. I am kidding. I am only rusty.
Cheers for now; I will be back soon with an explanation and analysis of my employment (sic) this past 7 months. In reality, I feel like Dustin Diamond these days; remember when he played Screech, for the third installment, of Saved by the Bell, Saved by the Bell: The New Class. I just cannot seem to move on and have a career.
1 comment:
Excellent news for those of us sitting in snowbanks searching the Internet for wisdom and guidance. . . Hopefully, just as when MJ told us he was back . . . You will drop your version of 55 points on us.
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